Couldn't say it better myself.

I'm gonna get serious for a few minutes.

In my seven months of marriage, there has been one thing that really irks me. It's not that my hubs leaves his socks anywhere he pleases, and it's not that our bathroom sink is in a constant loop of repair.

It's the judgement I feel radiating from people when they figure out that yes, I am 22 years old AND married. And to those close enough for me to share this with, they are FL-OOR-ED when I tell them that both E and I waited until marriage to have sex, and to live together. I know we're "crazy", but we like knowing that we are the first and only people we'll ever be with.

...I could write about these things forever. It's sooooo annoying, and it happens way too often. Is 25 the age when you can "actually" have and know that feeling? Why do people think we're idiots for letting our faith, not our carnal desires, guide our relationship?

I've been wanting to express my thoughts on this for a really long time. I've tried writing open letters for publications or articles on why we did things the traditional way, but every time, I get lost in my frustration of why I actually feel led to write about this.

And then I found this article. While it doesn't touch on every bullet I use when explaining why getting married at this point in my life works for me, it hits on the one I get the most flack for - marrying young. I couldn't address this topic better myself.

I still hope to write something about why I was a 22-year-old virgin who never lived with my husband at our wedding. I'll let you know when it happens.

A simple marriage lesson

My husband and I are insanely different. Computer programmer who claims he is allergic to the sun. Communication fanatic that miserably sweats poolside for hopes that swimsuit lines will become a little more distinct.

We're different. Which brings a unique challenge to our marriage.

Since we spend a majority of our time together, we've had to work extra hard at finding things we both like to do. I know I'm crazy, but E spending his time being a genius in our office while I watch TV all night long is not my exact picture of bliss.

Enter, the brilliance of Starbucks dates.

A month or two ago, we started this thing where, every Thursday, after work, we go to Starbucks as a way to wind down from the week and prepare for the weekend. Sometimes, we bring our computers and work on things (like this blog post), other times, we sip our frappuccinos and laugh at each other for being ridiculous.

We learned in marriage counseling that having a designated date night or activity you do each week does great things for the relationship. I'm here to tell you with my words that it really does. I love looking forward to my Starbucks date with E, even if we're a little ticked at each other. If we have something that needs to be worked out, it's a neutral spot. And if we're really feelin' the love that day, we gaze into each other's eyes, hold hands and make everyone else throw up in their mouths with how in love we are. (So much fun.)

For all my married/dating friends, and for those feeling like a specific friend is missing from their life, schedule something like this. A walk around the neighborhood. Ice cream runs. Something where your attention is directed to the person you're spending time with. Give that relationship the priority it needs by designating and dedicating time each week to that person. It works wonders.



My smarty-pants love, hard at work.



Such a hipster, with his side-part and v-neck. And I love it.

Text message musings, part 2.

Backstory: E found an awesome website that sells super nice watches at crazy low prices, and like we always do when we want something, I had an email waiting for me. Actually, there were two, and the second said, “A possible gift idea. I decided that I am not going to buy it for myself.”

He’s sneaky with hints like that.

Here’s our conversation about said watch.
...............
Me, 8:16 AM: “Don’t forget to buy soccer tickets.”

E, 9:11 AM: “Got them. Check email plz.”

Me, 9:16 AM: “I did. It’s a nice watch, but a) the last gift I gave you was a watch, and b) you told me I couldn’t spend more than $25 on a birthday gift for you.”

E, 9:29 AM: “That is true. Maybe I should buy it for myself. Tell me what to do.”

[Notice that I pass the chance to really turn the tables here.]

Me, 9:32 AM: “I really don’t know. You have 3 watches. Can you see yourself wearing 4 on a consistent enough basis to justify buying this one.”

E, 9:36 AM: “No. But this one is a lot better quality and a great deal.”

[Pfft. The quality comment = so not true for the Skagen watch I gifted him for Christmas.]

Me, 9:39 AM: “It sounds like you want me to tell you if there is a reason that you shouldn’t buy it instead of helping you make a decision.”

E, 10:02 AM: “Just tell me what to do.”

[Again, I take the high road. I'm more and more saint-like with every text.]

Me, 10:03 AM: “Honestly, whatever you want. I’m not going to be mad if you buy it, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

E, 10:18 AM: “But do you want me to buy it?

[About to unleash some wisdom]

Me, 10:20 AM: “I think you have enough watches, but me having enough clothes doesn’t mean I don’t want more. That’s how I can best sum up my feelings.”

E, 10:29 AM: “This is my last purchase for a long time. Hold me to it.”

[…‘unless it’s for me’, I think]

Me, 10:32 AM: “Deal.”

[3 minutes later]

E, 10:35 AM: “I decided not to get it.”

Me, 10:35 AM: “Why?”

E, 10:42 AM: “I couldn’t find reviews online.”

Me, 10:42 AM: “I love you.”

.............

Is it weird that I share this? Is it stupid I found this exchange funny? Am I boring? 

4 things I didn't know about myself

Count the months, peeps, because E-dizzle and I have been married for 4 big ones. We’re basically experts.

I like to think that we’re out of the honeymoon stage, but I still get the “No, you’re definitely not” response when I tell people that. I actually like to think that we skipped it altogether because I want to believe that E and I keep it pretty real, but people tell me that’s not true, either. Why on Earth is no one letting me have my cake and eat it too?!?!

Because I like to think that I’m a pretty reflective person (us communicators tend to be), I was simultaneously doing the dishes and thinking about my four experience-filled months of marriage.

And then my brain got interesting. I realized mid fork rinsing that I’ve learned a few things about myself since being married. Just when I thought I had me all figured out…

1. The chance of me having a slight obsessive-compulsive complex is no longer a chance; it’s fact. You wouldn’t think it matters how one stores their toilet paper, but oh baby, it does. And you think there’s more than one way to make the bed? How dare you. There’s one way, and it’s my way (hello, 5-year-old brat me).

Let’s give credit where it’s due. To my husband, you are way too patient and gracious. 

2. I can be a woman of double standards. But only when it comes to cleaning. I think. Like, I’ll ask the hubby to help me clean, but I’ve always got some critique with his methods. What is wrong with me?

3. I work against myself. I always complain that Eric and I need to eat healthier, but then I make things like stromboli. Or steak. Or the Cinco de Mayo spread I talked about here. I’ve threatened myself and E with eating salad for an entire month, but let’s be honest – we won’t. And so I’ll just continue my method of eating what I want and working out the bare minimum so I don’t blow up like a balloon. And E will just keep eating, because his metabolism is crrraaazzzy.

4. I may become a cat person. Not that I was ever anti-cat. I’m just more pro-dog. What really matters is that I’m really just anti-animals in the house. It.will.never.happen. The only exception is a fish. Or a labradoodle, if I ever get one. I can't even explain how much lint/animal hair drives me crazy.

Anyways, we’ve agreed that we will have pets when we have a backyard and outdoor pet homes for them to stay in. But when it came to species, we differ. E = cats, me = dogs. But I’m warming up to the idea of cats, and I proudly admit it’s because of the Internet’s gift of lolcats. I can has cheezburger? GENIUS. Thank you, Lolcats, for giving Eric and I random 15-minute spurts of classic entertainment.

The cat that began it all.

I weirdly hope I’m done learning things about myself for a while. But then again, maybe I’ll discover I’m the missing link to the Avengers being more awesome, or that I’m a closet wine connoisseur. But then, I’d have to drink something else besides Moscato or Reisling, and that’s just not happening. 

For the girls

There are a lot of things to consider when finding a husband. We've all made some sort of "list," which is probably one of the dumbest things we do. My husband is nothing like the guy I once imagined myself marrying. Thank goodness it worked out that way. I really can't brag about him enough, but I'll stop. I know you're on the verge of puking right now. 

Really, what it comes down to are two things:  does he make you happy, and can the guy cook? (Obviously those aren't the only two things. But work with me; I'm trying to keep this sweet and to the point.)

Let my guy be an example for you. Tonight, I came home to this awesome surprise dinner. 

Seriously? 

Yes, please. 

E, I am keeping you forever. You should also take this post as my statement that I want more dinners like this. Like, once a week is great for me. Thanks. 

Oh, the places you'll go.

Hopefully that title brings back great memories of this book - it's definitely a must-read/must-own/must-keep-forever.

Theodor Seuss Geisel, courtesy of rocketboom.com
I think he would have been pleased with my picture selection.

Today is Dr. Seuss's would-be 108th birthday, and for someone whose books we've all grown up read and love, I had to find some way give him the proper dedication. (If only I still had my Cat in the Hat hat.) What I'd like to do is share the entire book on my blog (because it really is that good), but I'm pretty sure that's illegal. So, here's one of my favorite excerpts.

But on you will go

though the weather be foul.

On you will go

though your enemies prowl.

On you will go

though the Hakken-Kraks howl.

Onward up many

a frightening creek,

though your arms may get sore

and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike,

And I know you'll hike far

and face up to your problems

whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,

as you already know.

You'll get mixed up 

with many strange birds as you go.

So be sure when you step.

Step with care and great tact

and remember that Life's 

a Great Balancing Act.

Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.

And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?

Yes! You will, indeed!

(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

We do lots of things because we can, and many things we do because we're told we can't. There are a lot of times where we feel we've got the whole world behind us, and probably more where we feel left behind. The secret and beauty is that success is never out of question and always within reach. 

How does this apply to marriage exactly? Too many ways for me to fit on this blog. But, if you're looking for one, I did tell E that I will use our future kids as an excuse to go on a Dr. Seuss binge. He's cool with it. 

For all those craving some wedding photos...

Here are a few I'll share with you. Enjoy!

When you get married, don't count on your parents to always back you up.

Because they won't.

Until we were married, whenever Eric and I had little tiffs, my parents would usually side with me, except in the rare circumstance where I was being completely irrational, which is never. Please take notice that I said things were this way until Eric and I were married, and here's the evidence.

Keeping to our nature of making big life changes in a whirlwind of events, Eric and I were planning to move shortly after we arrived home from our honeymoon in Mexico. Now, shortly for me in that case was defined by two or more full days resting in the quiet nothingness of my South Dakotan farm. However, for my husband, it meant approximately 30 hours. Ex-squeeze me? 

*Note:  Eric wasn't wanting to ditch his in-laws. He wanted to get to our apartment because he was waiting for a transcript that had to be turned into his new job by the end of the week. The transcript was being delivered to our new home.

As you may predict, in my plight to relax at home and recover from a nasty cold for a few days, I battled (figuratively, of course) my husband, pleading to stay for another 24 hours. And in my attempts to crush the enemy (again, figuratively), I went to the Veurink king and queen asking them to persuade my beloved (who was also the enemy in this short disagreement). I begged for their reassurance that I wasn't being unreasonable.

But apparently, I was. Instead of comforting me with their usual words of siding with me, the royal parents did no such thing. Instead, they told me that I was on my own now, which translates to, "He's your husband, so you're on your own." Grrrrr...

Obviously, Eric and I worked things out (a.k.a. I caved), and we were happily moving into our new home within 48 hours of returning to our beloved country. Lesson learned:  unless it's the important, life-changing, future-altering decisions, parents are most likely going to tell you to deal with spousal issues alone.

The 's' word.

One of the topics that surprisingly didn't surface in our premarital counseling was the concept of sacrifice. Either the pastor assumed E and I are already self-sacrificing people, or he just forgot. Take your pick.

I like to think in our 3+ years together we've both grasped the concept and put it into practice (sometimes unwillingly). But while on our honeymoon, I decided to make a sacrifice of huge proportions...drum roll.......

I put aside my judgments about Magic the Gathering and learned how to play.

For a while, E has gently prodded me to learn how to play. I tried to ward off his request with empty 'Yeah, maybe's' until I decided it was time to give it a try. The look on his face the first time we played was totally worth it. Upside: Magic is actually fun, I'm getting the hang of it, and I have a sweet deck. Downside: E has been looking for more games we can enjoy together, Skyrim or FNM being the most frequent suggestions. I remind him not to get his hopes unrealistically high.

Lesson learned: sacrifice equals mucho important, and marriage is super fun when you enjoy things you like with someone you love.