Between the two of us (me and E), we spend a lot of time on the internetz, and yes, he deserves the credit for introducing me to Lolcats. But between the two of us (me and you), I've got a list of my own sites when I need some extra humor in my life.
My top 5:
1. Bad banana. If you're not in the Twitterverse, you should enter it solely for Tim Siedell's hilarious tweets. His profile statement alone makes me (legitimately) giggle every time.
2. Suri's burn book. My relationship with tabloids and celebrities really only exists when I'm on the elliptical and there happen to be magazines left behind in the fitness center. BUT, I do love this site. And if you know more than I do about the celeb world (or just a little bit less), I think you'll enjoy it, too.
3. Dear blank, please blank. A classic. My favorite: "Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, The Unicorns." I chuckled (and still am) the entire time writing that.
4. Timothy McSweeney's Internet Tendency. Specifically, the 'Open Letters to People or Entities Who are Unlikely to Respond'. I think this site might be my favorite because it's also populated by real and awesome writers.
5. Texts from dog. This one is 50% crude past the point of being funny, but there are definitely a few gems in there.
Happy laughing! What are some of your go-to sites when you're lookin' for a chuckle? I can always use more.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Text message musings, part 2.
Backstory: E found an awesome website that sells super nice watches at crazy low prices, and like we always do when we want something, I had an email waiting for me. Actually, there were two, and the second said, “A possible gift idea. I decided that I am not going to buy it for myself.”
He’s sneaky with hints like that.
Here’s our conversation about said watch.
...............
Me, 8:16 AM: “Don’t forget to buy soccer tickets.”
E, 9:11 AM: “Got them. Check email plz.”
Me, 9:16 AM: “I did. It’s a nice watch, but a) the last gift I gave you was a watch, and b) you told me I couldn’t spend more than $25 on a birthday gift for you.”
E, 9:29 AM: “That is true. Maybe I should buy it for myself. Tell me what to do.”
[Notice that I pass the chance to really turn the tables here.]
Me, 9:32 AM: “I really don’t know. You have 3 watches. Can you see yourself wearing 4 on a consistent enough basis to justify buying this one.”
E, 9:36 AM: “No. But this one is a lot better quality and a great deal.”
[Pfft. The quality comment = so not true for the Skagen watch I gifted him for Christmas.]
Me, 9:39 AM: “It sounds like you want me to tell you if there is a reason that you shouldn’t buy it instead of helping you make a decision.”
E, 10:02 AM: “Just tell me what to do.”
[Again, I take the high road. I'm more and more saint-like with every text.]
Me, 10:03 AM: “Honestly, whatever you want. I’m not going to be mad if you buy it, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
E, 10:18 AM: “But do you want me to buy it?
[About to unleash some wisdom]
Me, 10:20 AM: “I think you have enough watches, but me having enough clothes doesn’t mean I don’t want more. That’s how I can best sum up my feelings.”
E, 10:29 AM: “This is my last purchase for a long time. Hold me to it.”
[…‘unless it’s for me’, I think]
Me, 10:32 AM: “Deal.”
[3 minutes later]
E, 10:35 AM: “I decided not to get it.”
Me, 10:35 AM: “Why?”
E, 10:42 AM: “I couldn’t find reviews online.”
Me, 10:42 AM: “I love you.”
He’s sneaky with hints like that.
Here’s our conversation about said watch.
...............
Me, 8:16 AM: “Don’t forget to buy soccer tickets.”
E, 9:11 AM: “Got them. Check email plz.”
Me, 9:16 AM: “I did. It’s a nice watch, but a) the last gift I gave you was a watch, and b) you told me I couldn’t spend more than $25 on a birthday gift for you.”
E, 9:29 AM: “That is true. Maybe I should buy it for myself. Tell me what to do.”
[Notice that I pass the chance to really turn the tables here.]
Me, 9:32 AM: “I really don’t know. You have 3 watches. Can you see yourself wearing 4 on a consistent enough basis to justify buying this one.”
E, 9:36 AM: “No. But this one is a lot better quality and a great deal.”
[Pfft. The quality comment = so not true for the Skagen watch I gifted him for Christmas.]
Me, 9:39 AM: “It sounds like you want me to tell you if there is a reason that you shouldn’t buy it instead of helping you make a decision.”
E, 10:02 AM: “Just tell me what to do.”
[Again, I take the high road. I'm more and more saint-like with every text.]
Me, 10:03 AM: “Honestly, whatever you want. I’m not going to be mad if you buy it, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
E, 10:18 AM: “But do you want me to buy it?
[About to unleash some wisdom]
Me, 10:20 AM: “I think you have enough watches, but me having enough clothes doesn’t mean I don’t want more. That’s how I can best sum up my feelings.”
E, 10:29 AM: “This is my last purchase for a long time. Hold me to it.”
[…‘unless it’s for me’, I think]
Me, 10:32 AM: “Deal.”
[3 minutes later]
E, 10:35 AM: “I decided not to get it.”
Me, 10:35 AM: “Why?”
E, 10:42 AM: “I couldn’t find reviews online.”
Me, 10:42 AM: “I love you.”
.............
Is it weird that I share this? Is it stupid I found this exchange funny? Am I boring?
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Text message musings, part 1.
Background: I have no idea.
E, 1:29 PM: "How is your day going?"
Me, 1:50 PM: "It's not bad. I fed some turtles. How is your day going?"
[no reply for hours - rude.]
E, 4:43 PM: "You are silly."
Me, 4:45 PM: "You are poopy."
E, 5:37 PM: "Oh no, you did not."
E, 1:29 PM: "How is your day going?"
Me, 1:50 PM: "It's not bad. I fed some turtles. How is your day going?"
[no reply for hours - rude.]
E, 4:43 PM: "You are silly."
Me, 4:45 PM: "You are poopy."
E, 5:37 PM: "Oh no, you did not."
Saturday, June 9, 2012
The problem with co-dependency.
I thoroughly enjoy being married, and for reasons other than I just really love my husband.
I'm thinkin' it's because I really like feeling needed, and like someone's life kind of depends on me.
Yes, my E is self-sufficient and could survive in our apartment with out me, but let's just believe differently for a sec, alright?
In the last five months of co-dependency bliss, I've found the glitch...when 50% of your existence exists in someone else, things get pretty boring when they're not around.
King Swanson has been in Alabama all week on a business trip - he left at the butt crack of dawn on Monday, and get's back tonight (just wanted to justify my "all week" classification). A lot of people at work ask me what I've been doing with my freedom, and I'm sensing a vibe that they think I'm shackled to my kitchen appliances every night. But instead of starting another conversation about how I truly enjoy cooking for the hubby, etc., I just tell them "nothing." Because that's the truth (and lies are bad).
So here I sit, at the end of a boring week, and I'm honestly a little surprised with myself. Back in my legally single days, E and I would make plans to do things together, and in between those plans and working/sleeping/whatever it is I used to do, I'd do other stuff. Like shopping. Or laying in the sun. Or Pinterest-ing (which I'm over). Or other things.
Peeps, has marriage made me less interesting?
...Probs not - I've never been that fascinating. But I have realized that doing those things without Eric in Kansas's great Johnson County just isn't as fun. I know I'm still high on marriage, but my life gets significantly less cool when I don't have my other half waiting at home for me after spending enough money to keep Target in business for another month.
Something about his 'Why-do-you-like-buying-things-we-don't-need/already-have?' lecture just gets me.
Note: don't read this as my opinion on why married life kicks single life's butt, because I don't have an opinion on that. Rather, a self-reflection on how marriage has changed me and the things I enjoy doing.
Fun fact of the day: Johnson County is the second healthiest county in the state of Kansas. ...So, ye-ah, there's that.
I'm thinkin' it's because I really like feeling needed, and like someone's life kind of depends on me.
Yes, my E is self-sufficient and could survive in our apartment with out me, but let's just believe differently for a sec, alright?
In the last five months of co-dependency bliss, I've found the glitch...when 50% of your existence exists in someone else, things get pretty boring when they're not around.
King Swanson has been in Alabama all week on a business trip - he left at the butt crack of dawn on Monday, and get's back tonight (just wanted to justify my "all week" classification). A lot of people at work ask me what I've been doing with my freedom, and I'm sensing a vibe that they think I'm shackled to my kitchen appliances every night. But instead of starting another conversation about how I truly enjoy cooking for the hubby, etc., I just tell them "nothing." Because that's the truth (and lies are bad).
So here I sit, at the end of a boring week, and I'm honestly a little surprised with myself. Back in my legally single days, E and I would make plans to do things together, and in between those plans and working/sleeping/whatever it is I used to do, I'd do other stuff. Like shopping. Or laying in the sun. Or Pinterest-ing (which I'm over). Or other things.
Peeps, has marriage made me less interesting?
...Probs not - I've never been that fascinating. But I have realized that doing those things without Eric in Kansas's great Johnson County just isn't as fun. I know I'm still high on marriage, but my life gets significantly less cool when I don't have my other half waiting at home for me after spending enough money to keep Target in business for another month.
Something about his 'Why-do-you-like-buying-things-we-don't-need/already-have?' lecture just gets me.
Note: don't read this as my opinion on why married life kicks single life's butt, because I don't have an opinion on that. Rather, a self-reflection on how marriage has changed me and the things I enjoy doing.
Fun fact of the day: Johnson County is the second healthiest county in the state of Kansas. ...So, ye-ah, there's that.
Monday, June 4, 2012
This week's 7.
2. Related, we both experienced Pella, Iowa for the first
time this week. Very cute, very Dutch, very awesome.
3. I’m on my own this week - E's one on business - and so
far, my menu for the week includes Special K for breakfast, and chips and salsa
for dinner. …I need to take better care of myself.
4. Can’t forget the Lifesavers mints. 8-5 every
Monday-Friday, I live off these things.
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5. I found this video on the internets today, and can’t
stop watching. So stinking cute/when is their CD coming out?
6. Mini-me gave me her old iTouch, and Temple Run has become
my Angry Birds. I’m so late to these trends, but I don’t even care.
7. This weekend is our only free one in June, and I’m
pretty sure we’re doing nothing except going to Trader Joe's and making shish kabobs. I love it.
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