That moment when your dreams change and suddenly you're like, "Oh, crap..."

Let's talk dreams.

Or maybe a better phrase is 'life goals'?

Because I have had more life goals than years I've been alive, and in the past year especially, I've learned how terrifying it is when your goals change, and you realize that your life isn't what you thought it would be, and you kind of feel OK with that, but you're also thinking, "Crapsicles. I need to have all the answers because LIFE."

The spark that lit the fire for this post: Almost as soon as I knew that my man was thee man I wanted to spend forever with, I had a plan (type A all the way). We were going to get married after college (January 7, 2012, what what?!), move and find jobs (done and done), work a few years (getting there) and then start thinking about the possibility of a little soybean somewhere around 25ish.

And then, over the course of many moons, I decided that maybe that plan wasn't so much exciting for me as it was terrifying. Not just for the possibility of becoming parents at 25, but because I kind of anticipated more things happening that didn't. For one, I was unhealthily overcommitted and over-involved in college. I kind of thought that, when I got married, that passion for being involved would just sort of...die. And it didn't. And the more I got into my career, the more I kept telling myself that I needed to start making something of myself. And I realized my goals and the timeline for those things had changed.

...Terrified.

We've also got the whole 'what on this planet am I doing with my life?!?!' thing. I'm very blessed to love what I do and those I work with. But. I am a realist (or maybe a glass half-empty person, which have you), and I know that there will most likely come a point in my life where I leave what I'm comfortable with for something I'm not comfortable with. And then I think I'm crazy because why on earth do I ever want to leave what I love and feel confident in, but it's this thing called 'growth/professional development/a career' and it needs to happen.

The beauty of life is that it's always changing and full of surprises, and the ugly is that it's always changing and full of surprises. Life is scary, and the fact that not even I know exactly what I want to be or do or accomplish is ridiculous. But I tell myself I'm 23 and I've got time and as long as J.Crew doesn't take all my monies, everything will be alright.

Thank you for reading my attempt at poking a little fun at how terrifying can be. Why cry in a corner when you can laugh out of fear?