Super silly sites

Between the two of us (me and E), we spend a lot of time on the internetz, and yes, he deserves the credit for introducing me to Lolcats. But between the two of us (me and you), I've got a list of my own sites when I need some extra humor in my life.

My top 5:

1. Bad banana. If you're not in the Twitterverse, you should enter it solely for Tim Siedell's hilarious tweets. His profile statement alone makes me (legitimately) giggle every time.

2. Suri's burn book. My relationship with tabloids and celebrities really only exists when I'm on the elliptical and there happen to be magazines left behind in the fitness center. BUT, I do love this site. And if you know more than I do about the celeb world (or just a little bit less), I think you'll enjoy it, too.

3. Dear blank, please blank. A classic. My favorite:  "Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, The Unicorns." I chuckled (and still am) the entire time writing that.

4. Timothy McSweeney's Internet Tendency. Specifically, the 'Open Letters to People or Entities Who are Unlikely to Respond'. I think this site might be my favorite because it's also populated by real and awesome writers.

5. Texts from dog. This one is 50% crude past the point of being funny, but there are definitely a few gems in there.

Happy laughing! What are some of your go-to sites when you're lookin' for a chuckle? I can always use more.

Text message musings, part 2.

Backstory: E found an awesome website that sells super nice watches at crazy low prices, and like we always do when we want something, I had an email waiting for me. Actually, there were two, and the second said, “A possible gift idea. I decided that I am not going to buy it for myself.”

He’s sneaky with hints like that.

Here’s our conversation about said watch.
...............
Me, 8:16 AM: “Don’t forget to buy soccer tickets.”

E, 9:11 AM: “Got them. Check email plz.”

Me, 9:16 AM: “I did. It’s a nice watch, but a) the last gift I gave you was a watch, and b) you told me I couldn’t spend more than $25 on a birthday gift for you.”

E, 9:29 AM: “That is true. Maybe I should buy it for myself. Tell me what to do.”

[Notice that I pass the chance to really turn the tables here.]

Me, 9:32 AM: “I really don’t know. You have 3 watches. Can you see yourself wearing 4 on a consistent enough basis to justify buying this one.”

E, 9:36 AM: “No. But this one is a lot better quality and a great deal.”

[Pfft. The quality comment = so not true for the Skagen watch I gifted him for Christmas.]

Me, 9:39 AM: “It sounds like you want me to tell you if there is a reason that you shouldn’t buy it instead of helping you make a decision.”

E, 10:02 AM: “Just tell me what to do.”

[Again, I take the high road. I'm more and more saint-like with every text.]

Me, 10:03 AM: “Honestly, whatever you want. I’m not going to be mad if you buy it, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

E, 10:18 AM: “But do you want me to buy it?

[About to unleash some wisdom]

Me, 10:20 AM: “I think you have enough watches, but me having enough clothes doesn’t mean I don’t want more. That’s how I can best sum up my feelings.”

E, 10:29 AM: “This is my last purchase for a long time. Hold me to it.”

[…‘unless it’s for me’, I think]

Me, 10:32 AM: “Deal.”

[3 minutes later]

E, 10:35 AM: “I decided not to get it.”

Me, 10:35 AM: “Why?”

E, 10:42 AM: “I couldn’t find reviews online.”

Me, 10:42 AM: “I love you.”

.............

Is it weird that I share this? Is it stupid I found this exchange funny? Am I boring? 

Text message musings, part 1.

Background:  I have no idea.

E, 1:29 PM: "How is your day going?"

Me, 1:50 PM:  "It's not bad. I fed some turtles. How is your day going?"

[no reply for hours - rude.]

E, 4:43 PM:  "You are silly."

Me, 4:45 PM:  "You are poopy."

E, 5:37 PM:  "Oh no, you did not."

The problem with co-dependency.

I thoroughly enjoy being married, and for reasons other than I just really love my husband.

I'm thinkin' it's because I really like feeling needed, and like someone's life kind of depends on me.

Yes, my E is self-sufficient and could survive in our apartment with out me, but let's just believe differently for a sec, alright?

In the last five months of co-dependency bliss, I've found the glitch...when 50% of your existence exists in someone else, things get pretty boring when they're not around.

King Swanson has been in Alabama all week on a business trip - he left at the butt crack of dawn on Monday, and get's back tonight (just wanted to justify my "all week" classification). A lot of people at work ask me what I've been doing with my freedom, and I'm sensing a vibe that they think I'm shackled to my kitchen appliances every night. But instead of starting another conversation about how I truly enjoy cooking for the hubby, etc., I just tell them "nothing." Because that's the truth (and lies are bad).

So here I sit, at the end of a boring week, and I'm honestly a little surprised with myself. Back in my legally single days, E and I would make plans to do things together, and in between those plans and working/sleeping/whatever it is I used to do, I'd do other stuff. Like shopping. Or laying in the sun. Or Pinterest-ing (which I'm over). Or other things.

Peeps, has marriage made me less interesting?

...Probs not - I've never been that fascinating. But I have realized that doing those things without Eric in Kansas's great Johnson County just isn't as fun. I know I'm still high on marriage, but my life gets significantly less cool when I don't have my other half waiting at home for me after spending enough money to keep Target in business for another month.

Something about his 'Why-do-you-like-buying-things-we-don't-need/already-have?' lecture just gets me.

Note: don't read this as my opinion on why married life kicks single life's butt, because I don't have an opinion on that. Rather, a self-reflection on how marriage has changed me and the things I enjoy doing. 


Fun fact of the day:  Johnson County is the second healthiest county in the state of Kansas. ...So, ye-ah, there's that.

This week's 7.

1. We FINALLY have married friends - yes! You can find her here.

2. Related, we both experienced Pella, Iowa for the first time this week. Very cute, very Dutch, very awesome.

3. I’m on my own this week - E's one on business - and so far, my menu for the week includes Special K for breakfast, and chips and salsa for dinner. …I need to take better care of myself.

4. Can’t forget the Lifesavers mints. 8-5 every Monday-Friday, I live off these things.

5. I found this video on the internets today, and can’t stop watching. So stinking cute/when is their CD coming out?

This one's phenom, too.

6. Mini-me gave me her old iTouch, and Temple Run has become my Angry Birds. I’m so late to these trends, but I don’t even care.

7. This weekend is our only free one in June, and I’m pretty sure we’re doing nothing except going to Trader Joe's and making shish kabobs. I love it. 

Little brother musings

A year ago, my teenage brother created his first Gmail account and tried convincing the sisterhood that we should call him ‘Diesel’. Why? No clue. But for all intensive hilarity, consider my brother’s official name to be Diesel.

To honor Diesel’s 15^th birthday today, 10 reasons why my baby brother kicks butt.

(You thought I was going to give 15 reasons, didn't you?

1. He wanted to be known as Diesel. ‘Nuff said.

2. The suggestion of ‘Diesel’ prompted us to bestow a slew of other nicknames, including Dog Tags and Shrew. I'll skip the back stories and just go with 'yesssssssssss'.

3. He has the best heart. Like, on Earth. The sisterhood was brutal on D, and history would show that he should be a big bully. But seriously, this kid wouldn’t hurt a fruit fly. Example:  he’s a 6’3” 15-year-old that gets picked on by a teenage turd half his size, and Diesel still befriends him. I wish I was like that. And I can't forget to mention the phone calls I get every two weeks from D asking when I'll be home next because he misses me. Heart.breaker.

4. Titanic love. I thought I had an affinity for all Titanic-related things, but Diesel takes the crown. Give him a book title containing ‘Titanic’, I guarantee he’s already read it.  

5. One-man show. My brother is and always will be an entertainer, and even though he gets carried away quite often, he’s still a riot.

D (on the right), and his floating-head, mysterious-hand sister. 

6. Like grandfather, like grandson. Diesel has this enthralling connection with our grandpa, and no one really understands it. Inside jokes, conversation topics and key words ("fellowship") are the base. Don’t try to jump into their conversations when it’s really going – you’ll likely be ignored. It’s not you; it’s them.

7. Brainiac. Big-time history/spelling-bee nerd, and I couldn't be prouder. 


8. Brothers (in-law). D has always really admired E, and I get all sentimental and stuff thinking about it. I just really love that my husband and brother have the relationship they do.

9. HP for LIFE. I've talked before about my Harry Potter obsession, and it's only gotten worse since. Probably because I introduced Diesel the world that I unashamedly wish we lived in, and every time he visits, we watch as many of the films possible. Victory.

10. Because every sister needs a brother. Especially if you're older. Girls always feel like older brothers are worse on the over-protective scale than parents. But it's also true (I think) if it's vice versa. I'm always asking D who he's texting, what girl he's "dating," how fast he drives, how many bags of Doritos he's eaten this week or if he's drinking enough water. So all you 16-year-old cougars out there thinking about finding out what D has to offer, don't. Because I will be all over that. 

This week's 7.

1. We’re thinking about opening a hotel/travel agency in our apartment. In the past 11 days, we’ve had three different sets of visitors. IN A ROW. Need a place to stay? Make a reservation. Want an unofficial tour of Kansas City? I’ll take you. Will I cook for you? Only if I like you. Will I expect you to buy me ice cream? Absolutely.

2. This pool. I’m parking here all July and August. (And probably September…let’s be real.)

3. I’ve got this issue where I can’t sleep in my and E’s bed without him. You’re probably going “awwww, that’s so cute”. Lies! It’s not. Do you know how terrible it is when I want to go to sleep at 10 PM but can’t fall asleep until he crawls in at 11? Mis-er-a-ble. Our air mattress will be my best friend all next week while he’s on a business trip.

4. Has anyone seen Dark Shadows? Thoughts? I can't seem to form an opinion of it.

5. Speaking of movies, E and I got season 7 of ‘The Office’ last week and watched it in a weekend. Yes, we are 22 years old in a hopping city. 

6. Hot pink pants + navy cat-print top for work? Why on earth not.

7. I started a new routine to get me back into running because I’m crazy. It involves me waking up at the 5:30 in the morning. I’ve also transformed into a permanent crab because of said running routine.